Musings that need to be somewhere

12-24-20

The real world is a lot like John Mayer described it; there’s no such thing. I still have roommates who don’t take out the trash and are too loud. The only difference is blasting music has turned into blasting conference calls. I pay my own bills, I assemble my own furniture, but don’t know how to grocery shop. I have everything I wanted and still don’t have everything I want? 

 

The shittiest thing is that I see how the dots connect now and I see the things that could have happened and the things that make me act insane because of what happened in the past !! And I hate it !! 

 

Remember when my ex fiancé was mad bc the only things I ever wrote about were this boy I loved in high school and not him  

 

We talked on Instagram for a second today. I thought about you on Wednesday and I think we would have actually done really well together, but like you said we could really just never get our shit together. I think we would have been happy. Or really really not. You’re married now anyway and she’s hot so. Good for you, I guess? I think we will always be in each others corner, though. There’s some weird tie between us and I think we both know that. 

 

It’s 2am on Christmas Eve!! I am writing something moody, I was dropped off at a friends house by my mother today, I got a Tik tok, and I’m reading Twilight. Actually. I’m reading breaking dawn because I’ve already read the first THREE twilight books this week, so that’s even worse!! 

 

So yeah, the real world doesn’t exist.